Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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