I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
