I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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