Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize