I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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