She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
