Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize