The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
