he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
