Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
