Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
