I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
