he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
