Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize