but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
