I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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