I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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