you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
