I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
