In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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