I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize