Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
