I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
me + whiskey = a bad person
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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