we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
