Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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