Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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