I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
