Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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