Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize