do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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