Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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