We're facebook friends in real life
im drinking this country out of the recession.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
