I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
false alarm, still single
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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