Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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