i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
