I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Enjoy the penises
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
