508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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