I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
