We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
