i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
