she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
