she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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