Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
