hotel room ftw
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
