I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why can't burritos get me drunk
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
