i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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