You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
