uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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