Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
