did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
