he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
