Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
