I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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