Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize