there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
