What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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